Bulletproof Love
When you try taking photos of yourself.. →
goo.gl
Expectations:
Reality:
(via/follow The Absolute Best GIFs)
July 2012
- Person: Theatre is stupid
- Person: Musicals are gay
- Me:
- Person:
- Me:
- Police: So can you tell me what happened?
- Me: He ran into my knife.
- Me: He ran into my knife ten times.
- Ensemble behind you: HE HAD IT COMIN'!
I really can’t picture anyone having a crush on me. I can’t picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep, or telling their friends about me. I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I said hi to them, or even just smiled at them. I can’t picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phones when we’re talking. I mean like; why would they even do that? I’m just me. Nothing extraordinary, or special.
Probably the best one I've ever seen. ASK ME I WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT AND FEED IT TO MARILYN
- 1: What eye color do you find sexiest?
- 2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?
- 3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?
- 4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?
- 5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)
- 6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?
- 7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?
- 8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?
- 9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?
- 10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?
- 11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?
- 12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?
- 13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?
- 14: What's your most favorite part of your body?
- 15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?
- 16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?
- 17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?
- 18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?
- 19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?
- 20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?
- 21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)
- 22: Which continents have you been on?
- 23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?
- 24: Backpacks or satchels?
- 25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?
- 26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
- 27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?
- 28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?
- 29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
- 30: The latest you've ever slept?
- 31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?
- 32: Do you pick at scabs?
- 33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?
- 34: How far can you throw a baseball?
- 35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?
- 36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?
- 37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?
- 38: A relationship with love or one with sex?
- 39: Do you eat enough vegetables?
- 40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?
- 41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?
- 42: Do you swear in front of your parents?
- 43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?
- 44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
- 45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?
- 46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.
- 47: City or nature person?
- 48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)
- 49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?
- 50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!
When people ask me if I'm single
a dramatic re-enactment of my thoughts while showering
- me: that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
- me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
- me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
- me: i'ma read the back of this.
- me: lather, rinse, repeat?
- me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
- me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
- me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
- me: eheheheheheheheheheh.
- me: but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
- me: did i already wash my hair?
- me: i think i did but i don't remember.
- me: i'ma do it again.
- me: FUCK I REPEATED.
- me: well played, pantene pro-v.
- me: i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
- me: i bet it's awkward.
- me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
- me: okay time to get out.
- me:
- me:
- me: where the fuck is my towel.
